If you see any of the following, please call
MOOSE TAZER INC.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
YOU NEED THIS PRODUCT
If you don't buy this product....God help you. Because you are about to get mutilated by a G.D. MOOSE if you don't buy this product. Seriously. This is the only product that can 100% ASSURE YOU that you'll be safe from a moose. YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DON'T BUY THIS. YOU NEED THIS.YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE CURB-STOMPED BY A MOOSE IF YOU CAN'T TAZE THE MOOSE FIRST.
So:
If you love un-stomped children and a safe family/household, you should buy the Moose Tazer.
But hey, it's up to you.
Safety: A How-To
If you find a moose knocking on your door (see above) DO NOT open the door. Simply adhere to the following directions:
- Turn off all of the lights.
- Grab your Moose Tazer Inc. Moose Tazer.
- Slide the moose tazer through the mail slot.
- FIRE.
- Open door.
- Enjoy a fried moose burger, because you just tazed a moose.
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