YOU NEED THIS PRODUCT

If you don't buy this product....God help you. Because you are about to get mutilated by a G.D. MOOSE if you don't buy this product. Seriously. This is the only product that can 100% ASSURE YOU that you'll be safe from a moose. YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DON'T BUY THIS. YOU NEED THIS.

YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE CURB-STOMPED BY A MOOSE IF YOU CAN'T TAZE THE MOOSE FIRST.

So:

If you love un-stomped children and a safe family/household, you should buy the Moose Tazer.

But hey, it's up to you.