Safety: A How-To
If you find a moose knocking on your door (see above) DO NOT open the door. Simply adhere to the following directions:
- Turn off all of the lights.
- Grab your Moose Tazer Inc. Moose Tazer.
- Slide the moose tazer through the mail slot.
- FIRE.
- Open door.
- Enjoy a fried moose burger, because you just tazed a moose.
OH LAWD!
ReplyDeleteMOOSE SO SCARY BUT I MADE IT GO AWAY THANKS TO
Moose Tazer, by Moose Tazer Inc.
I WAS LIKE, OH HELL! A MOOSE!
SO THEN I TAZED IT AND MAH BABY DADDY AND I ATE IT WITH KETCHUP.
I LOVE MY MOOSE TAZER!!!!!! I didn't have any idea i was in such danger until one knocked on my door!
ReplyDeleteThis is simply a phenomenal how-to announcement.
ReplyDeleteThe other morn, i found myself confronted with a moose, so i pulled out my
Moose Tazer, by Moose Tazer Inc.
and let it know what's what.
Needless to say, my wife and i had moose stew for dinner.
I also mounted its head in my foyer - so charming and nostalgic.
The otha day my kids(i got 8) was runnin around the house and they hear a knockin on the door. so they opened it and in came a big ugly moose! So i grabbed my moose tazer, hit him with it and knocked that sucka to the ground! we grilled him up that night and ooo weeee was it good. Thanks y'all!
ReplyDelete